Polyamory vs Monogamy

Polyamory relationships seem to be very natural and will always be found throughout the universe. However, polyamory relationships can prove to be very problematic. In these type of relationships there are increased possibilities of jealousy and rivalry, parent uncertainty for children, and diseases, which are known to spread faster in polyamory societies. Also, like homosexuality, which will always be a part of the natural law, polyamory will probably never be fully accepted in mainstream society. Therefore, practitioners of polyamory will have to constantly fight against many social forces. In the long run, the universe seems to punish humans for this type of relationship. Though I’m sure there are rare cases where polyamory has worked out quite well for some.

On the other hand, monogamy doesn’t seem to be all that natural amongst most life forms. Of course “natural” is not always necessarily a good thing. Viruses and germs are both natural, but neither is good for us. The universe seems to want humans to ultimately be monogamous. Though humans have to constantly strain against many natural urges to remain with only one lover. It’s easy to want to be in a poly relationship, especially for males. And that which is initially easy and that which easily beckons us towards it like a flashy fishing lure, usually turns out to be bad for us. The hard way usually turns out to be the right way.

I strongly believe that when love is divided, no matter how good one’s intentions are, there is always a loss and a cost. Of course the same can be said for monogamy. As far as the human race goes, most prefer to feel as though they are the crowning jewel in their lover’s eyes, the sole focus of their lover’s attention, and the king or queen in their lover’s heart and mind. We are all in this cosmic soup together and need to reach out to comfort one another. We all need to love and to be loved. But there are many levels of love like the love of a parent, the love for a sibling, the love for a friend, and even the love for chocolate! So love doesn’t always have to involve sex. When it comes to spreading love, as with all things, try to find a good balance. Not too much and not too little.

I don’t think most people were meant to stay with one person their whole life. I believe each of us usually have multiple lovers within each lifetime, though not always at once. That being the case, I would like to recommend that each try to have at least one lover at a time, especially once past the age of “discovery” or possibly a little sooner. We must have guidelines in our lives, even when it comes to love. Completely free and unbridled love can be indecent, irresponsible, and even dangerous. We can’t allow ourselves to love in just any way that feels good or we will surely pay the price and will eventually get hurt!

Since polyamory will always be a part of nature, I would like to respectfully say to its practitioners, keep it decent, keep it to a bare minimum, and keep it brief, during times of matured youth. Hopefully you will soon find that one special person whom you can dedicate your full attention to and to whom you can give your full being.

by Guyus Seralius – June 4, 2011